Understanding personality needs and communicating them reduces fears, making dating a better experience for anyone – including those with invisible disabilities

Nicole Shir’s recent TEDx Talk,  “What if You Could Connect With Someone Before You Meet Them?”, discusses fear of acceptance, invisible disabilities, and how Personality Communication can lead to successful dating experiences.

Dating is notoriously stressful, but it’s made even more difficult when an individual’s needs are misunderstood. In her TEDx Talk, Shir opens up to her audience by revealing that she has an invisible disability. She shares a staggering statistic from Disabled World: it is estimated that 10% of people in the U.S. have a medical condition which could be considered a type of

invisible disability. People with disabilities face numerous challenges, which can reach a pinnacle at a commonly shared fear: not being accepted.

Shir holds a master’s degree in industrial-organizational psychology and is a consultant, coach, speaker, author, but her expertise in this field goes much further than her education. Her grandfather, an Oregon schoolteacher, was featured on the cover of Life Magazine. His daughter, and Shir’s aunt, was disabled and disallowed from attending school. Pearson and his wife worked with Barbara Roberts, who was later elected the state’s governor, to help create homes and jobs for people like Shir’s aunt. This is a topic that’s near and dear to Shir’s heart, as she continues to advocate for the rights of those with disabilities.

Her TEDx Talk and her recently written book series centers around The Needs Languages. This concept makes the connection between personality and communication clear by outlining four Needs: Right, Important, Value, and Control. Everyone has a combination of two Needs, which means that there are six Needs Languages. Once a person can assess their own Needs Languages, they can then unlock the door to successful communication with others – even before they meet.

While her TEDx Talk focuses on dating, Shir emphasizes that The Needs Languages applies to many facets in life. “The Needs Languages” book series demonstrates this with separate volumes on dating, romantic relationships, parenting, and the workplace.

The core of Shir’s career, books, and everything she aspires to do and be is for equity and inclusion.

Shir wants to see that neither gender, race, orientation or preference, medical condition or disability, nor anything in between stop people from being genuinely happy and fulfilled in their careers and personal lives. As an advocate for diversity and inclusion, she continues to work for all those who’ve feared rejection to change the dynamic and create belonging. More information, including “The Needs Languages” book series, can be found at https://linktr.ee/Nicole.Shir.

About Nicole Shir

Nicole Shir is a consultant and author of the personality communication model, The Needs Languages, helping people find balance and belonging in dating, romantic relationships, parenting, and the workplace.