From Instagrandstanding to Scrooging, Gen Z dating is a minefield of new trends that makes us want to pull our hair out. After all, who even comes up with the idea of ending a relationship to avoid buying a gift? How hard can it be to find a partner who would rather have a side salad than a side piece? Very apparently! Add this to the pressure to come up with the perfect message and keep up several conversations at the same time. And dating has become downright stressful. But how is it that we have fallen out of love with dating? And more importantly, what can we do to get those butterflies back? This bitter, jaded writer will have a go at answering exactly that:
1. Starting a conversation
Ever spent 20 minutes trying to come up with an initial message, simply to be left on read? Ever asked your friend for their ‘best line’, only to be told they are saving it for themselves? Or maybe you have just given up, copy and pasting the same message to every one of your matches in the hope that hey, someone has to reply right? I never understood what was wrong with a simple ‘hi, how are you?’ But in a world where we are all so connected, you have to try and do something to stand out! The best solution is for the apps and dating sites themselves to step up and make this process easier and more fun. But none of these dinosaurs seem to be keeping up. What do dinosaurs know about dating anyway?
2. Planning a date
How am I supposed to know where to take a potential partner, when I can’t even choose what to watch on Netflix? Sure I could go for dinner, or drinks, but that is hardly making an extra effort. Plus, there are so many things to do in London, that this doesn’t even narrow it down much. Not only that, but how are you supposed to know what the other person likes? Sure you could just ask, but you are supposed to know right. When you have taken a coeliac out to a pancake house, then you will start to understand the dark place I am writing this article from. I mean aren’t you taking them out to get to know them? If you knew them already, you wouldn’t need to!
3. Building a meaningful connection
This can be the hardest of all. With modern dating seeming so superficial sometimes, it is easy to see it as a numbers game. There are so many people out there, that it is easy to lose faith in ever finding your Mr or Mrs Right. On those sofa days, when I am scooping up Ben and Jerry’s with an Oreo for a spoon, I start to wonder if everyone is just obsessed with hooking up. Research shows that around 80% of us are looking for love. But why is a genuine connection so hard to find? And why do I keep matching with the wrong people?
Is there an answer out there?
I was going to leave the article there, but I came back to it on a day when I had managed to make it up from the sofa and I decided there must be an answer out there. Blixr has a host of new ideas and features, which turn conversation starting into a fun way to get to know the other person. It has events and restaurants listed on the app, so everything is in one place and you can even filter these using the interests of you and your match. Finally, blixr actively promotes people meeting in the real world to form lasting connections. As you can see, blixr won’t be launching until the autumn, so you might have to get your summer lovin’ out of the way first. But if you have been facing any of the difficulties I have highlighted in this blog, then blixr might be the tool for you.